this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Congratulations! We have a period
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