I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
