no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
