I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have already put on my inside pants.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize