My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
