Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
