I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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