I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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