Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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