did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
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College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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