did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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