Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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