I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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