her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
