I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
