You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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