Your face is a jimmy john
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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