My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
