pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
