Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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