Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
