He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
