remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
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I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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