I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize