3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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