Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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