i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize