6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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