We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
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