Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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