I showed him my bush... on skype.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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