Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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