I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
