a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Randomize