It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
