I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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