I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
