idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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