do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
