sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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