Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
