I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
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