he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
