We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
