Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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