those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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