so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
