Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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