Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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