I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize