We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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