I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
