I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Randomize
