I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
even my farts smell like vagina
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
