Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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