Where did you get a picture of my penis
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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