a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
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