Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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