oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize