My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
