I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
