Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
