I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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