You're completely useless in the revolution.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
